"Babe" Ruth Puryear

I know most of my posts are light and humorous, but this one is a bit heavy. Just so you know what you're getting into:
So, I was working in Russellville today when Coy's sister Julie called to tell me that their grandmother died. Grandma, to them, Babe to her friends, and Ruth on paper. From what I know, she got her nickname "Babe" as a child, for obvious reasons, and it stuck. I happen to think it's the cutest nickname of the century so I prefer to call her Babe. My engagement ring has been passed down through 5 generations of Coy's family, one being Babe.
I wasn't sure where to vent, but my friends, and I'm hoping that's who reads my blog, know that I'm a communicator. I don't internalize things well, so this is the outlet I'm choosing... my quick therapy session. My relationship with Babe was just a snapshot compared to the rest of Coy's family, so I just want to put my thoughts out here so I can move forward and be a support system for Coy, Julie, Dr. Scott and their family. As I was driving home there were two thoughts that I kept going over and over, beating to death in my head, about Babe and her relationship with Georgie (Coy's grandfather).
First: Babe hasn't been at her best since I've known her. She was feeling worse and worse as the months went by and started preparing herself for what was after this life. She was open about her thoughts and desire to move on. Some might say this was depressing, and at times, it was. Talking about death, or discussing being ready to die, is a conversation that most of us would rather not delve into because it makes us uncomfortable or sad, but, I think that it is amazing how confident she was about death as she neared the end of her life. I think that she had such strong faith that she was ready to see what was next for her and it made her feel better to let everyone know that she was prepared for this unknown. I hope that when my time comes, if I have time to prepare, that I will feel this same confidence and hope.
Random thought: A memory that has made me laugh today, is a depiction of her love for the men in her family. She loved her entire family, but raised two boys and had a special place in her heart for the men in her life possessing the same gender. The first time I went to visit Babe, I was prepped that she could be a bit dramatic, bordering on needy, to which I thought that we were probably going to have a lot in common:) Just being honest. I walked in and she got up to welcome everyone at the door and then took me on a tour of her home. She has collected everything, so it really was an adventure. Then, we sat down and started to get to know each other better and she grabbed a group picture, including herself, from high school. She went through and pointed at all the faces, telling me about her friends and made me guess which one she was. Later, Coy came into the room and picked up the picture. He asked her which one she was and she said "oh, Coy" and grabbed his hand and gazed into his eyes (her signature move, precious) "I just can't see. I can't see a thing. I'll need your help to get through this picture." That little booger! I was in shock! She was the perfect damsel in distress! It worked, he grabbed her hand back and put his arm around her and began describing people in the picture so she could remember. She loved every second of it. She loved her boys, but she ESPECIALLY loved Georgie and would announce this several times during our visits, in front of anyone who happened to be there when she felt the urge to belt it out, "I looooove Georgie. Do you know that I love Georgie?"
The second: thing that pounded through my head today was the love story between Babe and Georgie. Babe and Georgie set the bar high and have left their family with such an unbelievable example of love and what it means to take the vows of marriage. Georgie never left her side. As she got sicker, he thought less and less about himself. The needier she was, the more he gave. He took "in sickness and in health" to her last breath. I was talking about this with my mom this morning before Babe passed away. We were discussing the full circle the family has made with Georgie. Coy's family was concerned that Georgie was taking on too much responsibility when it came to Babe's day-to-day care, and he probably was, but when reflecting on the situation, it all makes sense. When George started to give up his personal time and hobbies we all became worried and tried to encourage him to hire a nurse and come to a Razorback game or play a round of golf. We didn't want George to stop living his life because Babe was slowing down. This went on for months and Babe continued to get worse and worse and George continued to tell the family to buzz off, he was doing what he wanted to do. As Babe needed more medical assistance, George completely devoted himself to her. He was her nurse, yes, in all that a nurse's responsibilities include, her husband, her best friend. He wasn't budging and never complained. Talks of nursing homes or "assisted living" were quickly shut down. Babe wanted to stay home and that was the end of the conversation. WE were the ones who thought George was robbing himself of his last years. WE all thought that he was missing out on important moments in his life where he could still have fun and find pleasure. HE knew exactly what he was doing. There wasn't a temptation in the world that could have gotten him to spend more than an hour or two away from her. I have never had the opportunity to personally witness such acts of selflessness or to witness what true love looks like toward the end, but it has been a life lesson that I will never forget. This is what it meant when Coy and I took our vows. This is what "in sickness and in health" looks like. I consider myself so lucky to be married to Coy, to see what fabric Coy was made from and to know that Coy watched the same display of love.